The crux of my approach is simple, but versatile: I use anything and everything available to me to make your breakthrough(s) possible. Frankly, the reality of your life history and circumstances require this far more than one or two of the best methods found in any psychology library.
With that said:
#1 - Whatever your circumstances: I meet you where you are, hear you out carefully, and resist a lot of the knee-jerk quick diagnosing I feel is too common to my field. Doling out insights before
this feels very egotistical and immature to me.
#2 - Only when a great portion of your personal history is heard and understood will you see me sharing "depthy insights." They wouldn't feel terribly useful to you until I do understand you that well.
#3 - Once we understand one another and you are insight-equipped, I will encourage putting insight into action. But in ways that feel authentic to your personal experience of things. NOTE: This tends to be the most elusive phase of things because individuals mistakenly associate "gaining new insights" with effective change. I would argue that the insights = psychological fuel, but acting on your new found wisdom yields the life you've hoped for! One must turn this corner for the real rewards!
MORE ON WHY I DO WHAT I DO:
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About 1/3rd of my clients progress best through being heard and having me carefully "reframe" our conversations for them. The advantage being: I hold up a mirror for them and encourage their successful moves. When we are not doing this, we are pondering/critiquing what caused the ineffective decisions and behaviors. This approach allows you to benefit greatly from experiencing steering the therapeutic alliance from begin to finish. Clients report this approach as "feeling like something Zen."
Another 1/3rd of my clients are more eager for me to more actively guide the conversation in order to coach/model them help toward practicing new approaches over no longer effective decision & behaviors. This approach is a far cry from the overly-assertive methods seen on popular TV! It merely involves my being more active and, in some cases, more disclosure of my own clinical impressions for those who need practice after finding their own resources impaired.
The remaining 3rd of my clients tend to benefit from a collaborative mix of the former two approaches. Toward the last several sessions with virtually all of my clients, our familiarity with each other allows this integrated approach to come about organically. Your own experiences (in and out of session) will determine how this progresses.
A FINAL NOTE:
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You will notice that I have said very little about the nature of human emotions so far. There is PLENTY to say about this! Nothing is more distinctive and nebulous than the nature of one's emotions. An old therapists' maxim says "Emotions are never wrong; only actions can be wrong. They don't need to be justified. They just need to be felt." It is because emotions are an expression of our emotional truth that I abstain here. Whoever you are reading this - your emotional landscape is too elaborate and experience-rich for a brief formulation. When you engage with a therapist you trust, then the language of emotion will form a bridge between you two. After some time you will find each other midway and get great things done.
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